The Day Everything Changed

I was 16 when my life got flipped upside down.

It started with a headache that wouldn’t go away for over a week. I usually don’t take medicine and just live through a cold, but this time it was something I couldn’t bear. Then came the thirst, no matter how much water I drank, I was still so thirsty. I also started going to the bathroom all the time. At first, I thought it was just a cold, but when it became too hard to handle, I went to the health center. They gave me some medication, and after lying down for a few hours, I thought I felt better, so I went back to my dorm.

But one of the nurses had a feeling something was wrong. She called me back and said, “Let’s test your blood sugar.” It was my first year at school, about seven months in, and I had only been to the health center a couple of times, so the nurses didn’t know me well. Later, they told me that if they had, they would have noticed how thin and pale I looked, but at the time, they weren’t sure if I had always been that way.

They tested my blood sugar, but the number was so high it couldn’t even be measured. The nurses called the school doctor, and they decided I needed to go to the hospital right away, they suspected Type 1 Diabetes. They called my mom, and soon I was in an ambulance. It was my first time ever riding in one, all of that happening in just one day. I was still in my slippers, the same ones I wore when I first went to the health center.

As soon as I got to the emergency room, the doctors ran more tests and then sent me to the ICU, where I was connected to so many tubes. I heard my aunt was on her way since my mom was still in Korea, and my advisor was also coming to the hospital. Soon after, the results came back: I had Type 1 Diabetes.

At the ICU, the day I was diagnosed with T1D.

I wasn’t even shocked, just confused. Diabetes? I’d been healthy my whole life. My head was spinning as the doctor explained that my pancreas couldn’t make insulin anymore, and that from now on, I would have to inject insulin to live.

I was frustrated and angry. How could this happen to me? I was working so hard at school, I had just started high school. There were so many things I wanted to do, and now this? For a while, I wanted to give up on everything. I thought, If things are going to end up like this, why did I try so hard? Is it even worth it now? I’m just going to die early anyway, so what’s the point?

Then my friends sent me a video they made together. Each of them recorded a message telling me to stay strong and that I could get through this. Some even researched diabetes and told me what to do, that I should exercise, and that they’d do it with me. Some friends even asked their dorm mates, who I didn’t even know, to say something encouraging. A few of their parents joined in too, I could see tears in their eyes. One friend’s little sister even appeared in the video.

Adjusting to the new normal, counting carbs and checking blood sugar before eating.

Watching that video really changed my mind. So many people were cheering for me. Maybe I should give it a try.

After that, things weren’t so bad. I felt okay. I started to think, maybe it’s actually better that I was the one who got this. I imagined if someone else had to go through it, no way. I thought, I’m glad it’s me. I can handle this.

And that’s the story of how my Type 1 Diabetes journey began.

Leaving the hospital with a bag full of Dexcoms, insulin, needles and so much more.